Polarity and Fulfillment

We have a question by David Snider,

I have everything in my life except for one, fulfilment. I am mostly depressed, annoyed and stressed every other day. I have a family, money, a house and a job but I do not find any meaning to live. What are some ways to find meaning in life? Why live at all?

So you are wondering about that age old conundrum – purpose of life. What are we doing here, who we are and what are we supposed to do to achieve fulfilment. It is not just you, this question is part of the “inner awakening” and it intrigues everybody some time or the other.

Let me explain the concept of Polarity in brief.

Polarity

Polarity is the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, one being the extreme of another. Let’s take a few examples.

  1. You can only awake if you were deep asleep, right? If you never slept, you will not know what is “awakening” because you never went through that process which transitions you from one state to another state, thereby changing your polarity. So this realisation of “What is sleeping?” and “What is awakening?” can only happen when you go through both the states and transition from one state to another. First, you transition from an awakening state to sleep and then you transition from sleep to awakening.
  2. You can only learn to Love if you know how it feels like not to be loved by someone, how it feels like to be ignored by others. If everyone loves you and none ignores you, it is impossible for you to learn how to love someone else. A child learns to love his mom only when he gets a scolding and he is ignored by his mom. If the mom is always loving the child, he will never learn how to return the favour. The subject goes through the polar transition phase, “Getting affection” and “Not getting it” and only then it learns the “Value” of something.

Fulfillment

This “fulfilment” thing also goes through polar transitions. It is not stationary and it will never be like that.

So you think your life is dull, meaningless and without purpose. Fine, it only means that time has come to switch Poles. It is possible that you have reached an extreme end of one pole and now you must transition from that pole towards the other.

You have abundant resources and you are not feeling “fulfilled”. Good, then let go of some of these resources. Let go of your job, let go of your family, friends. Give your money to homeless people, move away from your family and live with strangers, take up an odd job and see how difficult it is to survive and fill the stomach. Experience the cold and harsh realities of life, sleep with homeless people, beg for food and experience the “lack” of something.

If abundance is becoming a barrier towards fulfilment, live a life of dearth. Live a life of penury, a life of struggle,a life of pain, of suffering, yearn something you don’t have. “Clinging” on to “abundance” is a weakness.

It is the weak who “clinges” to something and is afraid of letting go. Let go of your so called “possessions”. You have reached an extreme end and you must transition from that pole towards the other. It is the “transition” which will bring “fulfilment” in its own way.

When you are awakening from a deep sleep, it is that few seconds of “transition” which gives you comfort. When the mom kisses the child after a long day of scolding, it is in those few seconds the child experiences the warmth of affection.

In the same way, you must let go of your “state of abundance” and experience what it feels like not to have something you always had access to. When you lose stuff you had, you will understand the value and with that understanding will come the definition of “fulfilment”.

At the end of the day, fulfilment is a feeling. Just like “being loved”, “being ignored”, “being praised”, “being adored” are. And all these feelings are “Polar” in nature. When you hit an extreme end and you don’t feel like getting it anymore, time has come to change directions and go the other way. This could mean losing something temporarily but in effect, you don’t lose anything since you basically do not own anything in the first place. “Ownership” is an illusion, so do not “cling” to something and feel you own it. You own nothing.

You only feel that you are “getting” or “losing” something. You only feel that you are “fulfilled” or “not fulfilled”. You only feel that you are “loved” or “not loved”. And these feelings emerge from your individual polar journey which must go through several transitions time to time.

Therefore, give-up and rejoice! Let go!’ Don’t get caught up in this circus.

Let go and enjoy the journey downhill. Only after you are at the bottom of the hill, you will have a purpose to climb it one more time. And with that purpose, fulfillment shall follow.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. ~ Oscar Wilde

 
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